Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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