ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
