Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
