I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He felt like a one man threesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
