So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize