In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
