Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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