y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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