before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
