Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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