Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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