New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
