Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
honey bunches of taint.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
