You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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