I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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