if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
