her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
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Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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