hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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