i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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