I hate all girls vehemently.
from now on my penis is your penis
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
