She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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