Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
