I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I want is dick and wine.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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