Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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