I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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