there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I intend to get homeless drunk
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
