haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
