Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
