so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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