New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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