i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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