i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
