so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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