There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
