In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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