After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
