I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
