I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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