I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
