What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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