I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
do herpes really smell.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
