We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
