Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
