If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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