He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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