I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.