More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
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Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.