Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
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Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?