I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.