My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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