I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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