Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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