hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
