You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
