it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
