Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
