cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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