so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
