ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
