Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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