I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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