Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
