just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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