fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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