Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
