i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
