No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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